Winter Solstice 2011

Tonight I participated in a Winter Solstice Fire Ceremony.
We made bags of sage, lavender, tobacco, and small strips of folded paper with containing all of the things I want to release from my life from 2011. So negativity doesn't  come with into 2012.

On little papers write the things you want to release... They can be the release of anything: fear, control, jealousy, pain, loneliness - this is about you - you don't have to tell anyone what's on the paper. You can release your deepest darkest secrets and make room for the wonderful creative powers that are waiting for space in your psyche. Now is the time to forgive yourself .

Then you take this pouch and give up things to the fire. I believe this to be a very powerful releasing ceremony and therefore it will be.

Pixie Campbell has a great page on making Releasing Bundles. The page also includes some great releasing ideas: http://pixiecampbell.typepad.com/pink_coyote/2011/11/make-your-own-releasing-kit-instructions.html




In the words of Pixie: I'm seriously laughing as I write this because I feel so strongly about what we are capable of when we can alchemically transform:
Fear into Courage
Not Enoughness into Plenty                  
Old patterns of behavior into fresh responses and vulnerability          
Anger into Cleansing Breath
Sorrow into Hope
Grief into Rebirth
Loneliness into Circle and Support
Disempowerment into Confident Action
Creative Dormancy into Full Expression
Superficiality into True Being
Masks into Love of What Really Is
Shortsightedness into Eagle's Vision
Limitations into Possibility
Projections into Conscious Ownership
Stuckness into Movement
Depression into Light
Bondage into Freedom
Control into a Loose, Flexible Grasp
Obsession into Letting It Be
Anxiety into Flow
Fragmentations into Wholeness
Duality into Oneness
Shame into Acceptance of the Processes of Life
Mistrust into Trust
Judgment into Allowing

Rules of Life

SOMETHING OUR KIDS/GRANDKIDS--ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND!!

~ Bill Gates ~ 

This should be posted in every school or kid's bedroom. 

Love him or hate him , he sure hits the nail on the head with this !

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. 

He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.

The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. 

You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. 

Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. 

They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were: So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room..

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT .

In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. * This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. 

You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. 

* Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs

.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. 

Chances are you'll end up working for one. 

If you can read this ... Thank a Teacher. 

If you can read this in English ... Thank a Soldier ! 

And for life and everything else you have ... Thank God !!

Now.... think about this and smile if you agree and please pass this on... 

If you don't agree, go stick your head in the sand and take a deep breath!

"Be mindful that happiness is not based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect."

Today we Mourn a Beloved Old Friend, Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, don't spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, do nothing...

I'm watching Top Chef Masters and the band guy being wow'd says, "In a Restaurant in Japan, I sat next to a woman who was literally crying after every bite of steak, because it was so amazing. “

I, with doubt and flash on fear in my heart… I think....   I sooo hope so …. I so hope that IS why she cried.

… Which is immediately followed by the the self-acknowledgment that it is ONLY because of MY life experiences that I think this way…
there Are people who don’t….
and it would be a better world if no one did.

In that flash...I thought...   that maybe...  she cried because at that moment she was sooo intensely sad…

I know she could be…
Sitting in an elegant restaurant, dressed beautifully, looking like she has it all going on,
but…..
there are tears are streaming down her face (she is fighting to hold them back) as ‘her guy' sits across the table from her... destroying her in a whisper.

Please use this note to remember to...

Be kinder than necessary… you never know the hell someone else is going through… at their own hand, the hand of another or circumstances beyond control… there is much pain and strife in the world… reach out with kindness first…

Don't be sad. I am healing. I recognized my dark thought and dispelled it. I will win. I was born happy ;)

Sorting it All Out

I’m not sure I’m expressing exactly what I intend to – which is exactly what I’m talking about –– hahaha – clear as mud?

I want to congratulate all of you who did not/do not use alcohol or drugs to dampen, hide, or bury your emotions. To you who have the courage feel and deal with those feelings, be proud.

I hid, buried, dampened and killed everything except love, happiness and anger. Most of my anger came from fear. Although I have been sober for six years, I am still infantile in my emotions. Feelings that most people dealt with in high school, I am dealing with now. It is hard to explain. For the past 6 years, I have been filled with wonder and awe at the world around me, like a kid in a candy store. But when it comes to uncomfortable feelings -ones that make me feel sad, jittery, nervousness, give a tightening in the stomach, and/or a shortness of breath – I’m still learning to put those into words. Sometimes they are so very new that I either can’t find the words to describe them or I don’t recognize them. I just know I feel uncomfortable. During the first couple of years in my recovery, I would go away by myself and sort them out – own them, you might say. But this is not always possible. Sometimes the people in my life want me to stay and talk through them – scary stuff!

It must sometimes be hard for the people in my life to adapt. I’m a 40 year old women and the President of my own company, but when it comes to emotions, I’m new. My motto was always, “Be brave, even if you’re not – no one can tell the difference.” Now, my motto is, “It is okay to be afraid, I am safe.”

My newest emotion is jealousy. I remember feeling the inklings of it over the years, but usually I could drink it away or drink whoever caused it away. I’ve looked up the definition: Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Even as I know there is no cause for jealousy, it still makes me sick to my stomach. This is part of my growing process. I’ve had to experience so many ‘un-comforts’ over the past 6 years. It is so hard not to hide from it.

For me, new emotions start with some discomfort and usually a feeling that I should go – away – quickly – it is so hard to stay and feel. Sometimes I cry or get short, but not because of the situation or the people in it - but, because I’m SO uncomfortable in my own skin.

I am so very lucky to be loved so deeply by so many. The hardest part of my emotion battle, is to NOT let the people around me feel responsible or answerable for my ‘feelings’. After all, I’m not even sure what they are. It’s easy to forget – for them not to realize that I’m not really sure how I feel – just that I am feeling. Sometimes, I’m just trying it on for size. My outer self may not be in-line with my inner self – I’m still figuring it out. I think, at times, my people take on too much from me – I may even try to make them own it, but I don’t mean to. I don’t always understand how I feel and why I feel that way or what caused the feelings. It’s just that I’ve never bothered to feel.

The biggest thing I’ve learned is 99.9% of my Anger came from Fear – as do most of the new “uncomfortable” feelings. And… fear is can be tamed by shining the light on it.

The nice part of all this is…. I am a 40 year old that has not been stained by the world. I am not cynical or sarcastic....
Everything is new, fresh, and oh so awesome!

Rose Garden

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO4wcNVbYOQ

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
When you take, you gotta give, so live and let live,
Or let go.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.

I could promise you things like big diamond rings,
But you don't find roses growin' on stalks of clover.
So you better think it over.
Well, if sweet-talkin' you could make it come true,
I would give you the world right now on a silver platter,
But what would it matter?
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.

I could sing you a tune or promise you the moon,
But if that's what it takes to hold you,
I'd just as soon let you go, but there's one thing I want you to know.
You better look before you leap, still waters run deep,
And there won't always be someone there to pull you out,
And you know what I'm talkin' about.
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.

via http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/anderson-lynn/rose-garden-279.html

Dear John

I was quite freaked out the other night when you said, "I can't go by my real name because girls from my past will try to contact me." You mentioned it would be a bad scene. Weird. This is something I'd have liked to have known: "is not friends with people he's had relationships with in the past." What a great question - I will ask it next time.

John, if I had nothing to do, hanging out with you in 'your world' - meaning: on your schedule, doing what you like to do, and how you like to do it ~ would be absolute perfection ~ bliss incarnate. But, I have this other life going on - my own. In 'your world', you are generous and giving, but you don't seem to be comfortable any where else. And I am - comfortable anywhere & everywhere.

I did not mean to mislead you - or hurt you - I thought that you were just mistreated & sad (silent tears streaming down your face in the dark). I thought that if I loved you & showed you how much I love you, that you would love yourself & me & it would all fit together.
But it didn't. I started to be tired from the normal wear of such a long drive (which you shared none of) - and then I started to be tired from not being able to relax, while having to add even more driving & packing & packing & packing - oh yeah - then unpacking & repacking... then more driving....
That, in itself, is enough to drive one to 'drink'. But since I don't drink, I just dealt with it.

There were quite a few times that I was unhappy with how things were going.
And, I tried to talk to you.
You told me - you were good at talking - I didn't/wasn't/didn't' say I was ~ you said you were good at communicating.... You are a great communicator when you are asking the questions, but when I asked them... you deflected & evaded. So I quit asking - didn't ask - wouldn't ask anymore - except some times...
And if I did ask? If I tried to explain what I wanted or how my needs differed from what was going on - it ended in me crying - too tired to be able to explain - too easily fuddle. You telling me: this can't keep happening - look at the way you are acting - this is getting old - you are the most insecure person I've every dated. Which didn't help me feel better or help me to explain any more than when I'd started - it just made be silent. Just because you tell me I shouldn't feel like that, or I'm being irrational doesn't fix it.
I have not been happy for a while and, yes, I tried to tell you, but you don't 'listen' to me - or you are not 'hearing' me - I know this because I am trying to 'convey a thought' & you kept repeating the 'words' - the intent was lost. The weird thing is, I don't have these problems in any other relationship in my life...

And I hate, hate, hate, hate (and I don't use that word lightly) how I second guess myself now.... I know how to live, how God wants me to live, what society expects from me... And I enjoy being part of life... I do not need to be told about: cussing; being loud; or appropriate music - I do not need nor want to be shushed!!! I am sick to death of defending the way I feel. It isn't right and it isn't wrong ~ it just is.

I am Jane! Hear me Roar!!!
I am not afraid of being alone or being an 'old maid'. I AM afraid of not living my life - I AM afraid of not listening to & for the knock of opportunity. There is NOT a can't in my vocabulary. Won't doesn't work for me either.
You have built all kinds of limitations into who you are & I am limitless.
What I'm saying is: "I hope we become friends or stay friend", but I have weighed the thoughts ~ the ones from the heart & the purely analytical & I find that we have come to a crossroads.
I am no longer willing to walk down your path.
You want to go hiking sometime, great, but feel free to bring your girlfriend.
peace, love & light, Dances in the Rain

love

love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love