My Skinny Sexy Self

I recently took the course Sex & Money, which truly was a compliment to the Course Dances with Shadow (ExcellenceNW.org).
I believe... the shadow I've been hiding is my Skinny Sexy Self. Sexy used to be a term people used to describe me like they use cheerful now ... except then although I was good-natured; I wasn't cheerful; I was tipsy to drunk. For years, alcohol gave me courage to move forward as I shared my mind with constant shame & fear.
In 2004, I quit drinking. I've felt like rose bloom who's tried to become a bud again, for fear of not knowing how to own/stand-in my own power. I have been playing it 'small' in my personal life - trying not to be seen - trying to blend in - gaining weight, stopping my hips from swaying, not wearing jewelry, seldom wearing makeup, wearing big clothes - systematically hiding from who I am physically and emotionally.
And it worked … for what I needed. It kept me safe until I was able to do the work: to know myself better; to face my fears; to release the skeletons from the closet; to see myself at my core - for who I am, to accept myself at that place, to love myself more today than ever before.
I know now that my unknowing and fear is what attracted men who took advantage, abused and tormented me - I have relived my formative relationships over & over.  I see my actions in my results, actions that no longer serve me.
Hello World! Here I come ;)

Change Your Life Not Your Location - You Can't Move Away From Yourself

I've heard it so many times. How unhappy some one is. How if they just moved some where else. Everything would be different. They'd have  a change. Life would be different. It makes me sad to hear because I know from experience, change starts right here; right now.

This is what I do when I'm not happy where I'm at and I don't know what to do next....

1- I pick one thing IN my control - like cleaning or exercise - working out,  jogging, biking
2- I commit to a specific schedule. I set a time for it to happen - 20 or 30 minutes on Monday, Wednesday & Saturday at 9am for a duration of time not less than 3 weeks.

I select exercise because it helps us naturally release endorphins which makes us feel good. When we feel better (at an inner/deeper level) everything gets better; We see more opportunities and are able to deal with negative and hard things more easily.
The other reason I select a exercise rather than a different location is because every where I go, there I am. Meaning, If I get 'sick of the shit' here, where I live now; I will take that unease - my dissatisfaction - with me. If I only change my location, after the newness wears off, I will experience the same feelings - back at square one.

There are some rules for this commitment  to work.
1- I must set a schedule - IE: Mon, Wed & Sat at 9am.
2- I must make it doable and DO IT. Do it even when I don't want to. Even when I'm sick - no matter what.
2- I must select a time frame- at least 3 weeks. It is imperative that I pick time frame that will help me get in to a routine..

I believe my confidence or 'self-worth' is directly related to the degree in which I trust myself; can rely upon myself ; and do what I say I'm going to do. Especially when it's myself I'm commuting to. Not keeping my word with my self is trust wrecking at my core. It doesn't matter how insignificant it seems - any and everything I tell myself I'm going to do/not do and then don't follow through on- weakens me from the inside out.
It won't work if I miss any schedule or blow it off. If, at the beginning, from not being in the routine, I miss once, I will immediately go do it. It is counterproductive to break this agreementt. Subconsciously, I will lose trust in myself. Become less capable in my own mind.

This is why I pick a length of time. At the end of time frame, I can evaluate how it's going. Do I want to do more, less, would different days work better? I can then renegotiate the agreement I made with myself. I might also say, this isn't working for me; stop all together and choose a different task.

So I suggest if you  are truly .looking for change in your life, you start by committing to one thing that will serve you and do it well. It is the day to day things that build a life we are happy in. You have the power to change your life - Now - at this moment.

The benefit from self-reliance is increased self confidence.

This Too Shall Pass

noticing that when I get really worried or stressed about something, everything slows down and and I feel how vast the world is – how much space there really is; how slowly time moves; I shut down my mind… so the bad thoughts won’t come; so that all there is only the present … so I won’t dwell in fear … that is very Important …not to go where fear lives. I would rather stay close to the surface and repeat: this too shall pass… going in to fear, feeling despair is limiting, dries up the options… so keep your eyes open and hope for the best ;)

Let go of the false self. Embrace who you really are

Tonight is the Full Moon, known as the Blood Moon because between now and Samhain/Halloween was the harvest of flesh, it was the time when the farming community would slaughter cattle and preserve the meat to last through the winter months. Poorer families would use the brightness of this full Moon to go hunting for their meat. 
So it became known as the Blood Moon it is also called the Hunters Moon, the Shedding Moon or the Falling Leaf Moon. This full Moon there is also a penumbral lunar eclipse when the Moon will appear much dimmer and redder than normal. The lunar eclipse will be visible to people living in Europe, Africa, the Americas and parts of Asia just before midnight GMT The full Moon is in the sign of Aries, making it all about pent up emotions and balance. 
The eclipse will also have your emotions reeling and will have you asking yourself are you in the right place you wish to be at this time and questioning your current situation. The Aries Lunar Eclipse requires us to be balanced in our masculine and feminine energies. Masculinity is not better than femininity. femininity is not better than Masculinity. We need a balance of both male and female to be whole. This will bring you towards greater self-expression and freedom. You may feel a strong need to stand up for yourself and speak your truth. Let us remember to give others plenty of room to be who they are and speak their truth too. You are born again in the Aries cleansing fire. Let go of the false self. Embrace who you really are. Be heart-centered. Liberate your mind. This is real freedom. Lunar eclipses (which have a 19 year cycle) signal a completion and an awareness that could change the course of our journey if we let it. The heart may skip a beat as raw emotions surface now and energies are charged up. This is par for the course. Allow anger and agitations to rise up and clear out without jabbing anyone with the energy. You don’t have to allow things to become volatile, instead use these emotions to look inwards on yourself rather than outwards blaming others. Take positive action in advance by being responsible for your emotions and reactions to things. Direct the pent up or stuck emotional energy into organizing, working out or anything that burns off the ‘gunk’ and exhausts you in a good way. 
This eclipse opens a window until November 3 of a time that supports deep change. The energy of this full moon can be a bit challenging if you are not in alignment with what you need at this time. May you finally get the message and leave the past behind, honoring the experiences by making them conscious and giving them meaning. We are on the threshold of knowing things that will alter the course and direction of our lives, and how our minds are able to recognize signs and signals and bring forth messages from the Spiritual realms. This eclipse comes to remind us that who we are is written nowhere but in our own hearts, and it is there we will discover it. 
This Full Moon, use the energy to heal, healing energies are very strong now, look inside yourself and ask what it is you need to heal your hurt, pain, emotions. Clear your mind of negativity and try to look to a brighter and more positive future in the year ahead, make the decision to make big changes, this Moons energy will help you achieve them. May you have a blessed Full Moon and may the Goddess watch over you.

100 Ways to Be Kind to Your Children

100 Ways to Be Kind to Your Children

Tell them:
1. I love you.
2. love you no matter what.
3. I love you even when you are angry at me.
4. I love you even when I am angry with you.
5. I love you when you are far way. My love for you can reach you wherever you are.
6. If I could pick any 4 year old (5 year old, 6 year old…) in the whole wide world, I’d pick you.
7. I love you to the moon and then around the stars and back again.
8. Thank you.
9. I enjoyed playing with you today.
10. My favorite part of the day was when I was with you and we _______.

Tell them:
11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you cuddled them when they were a baby.
13. The story of their name.
14. A story about yourself when you were their age.
15. The story of how their grandparents met.
16. What your favorite color is.
17. That sometimes you struggle too.
18. That when you’re holding hands and you give three squeezes, it’s a secret code that means, “I love you”.
19. What the plan is.
20. What you’re doing right now.

Play:
21. Freeze Tag
22. Uno
23. Crazy 8s
24. Gin Rummy
25. Memory
26. Go Fish
27. I Spy- especially when you’re tired of driving and feel snappish
28. Catch

Pretend:
29. To catch their kiss and put it on your cheek.
30. That their tickle tank is empty and you have to fill it.
31. That their high five is so powerful it nearly knocks you over.
32. That you are super ticklish.
33. That you are explorers in the amazing world of your own backyard.
34. That it’s party day!

Try:
35. To get enough sleep.
36. To drink enough water.
37. To eat decent food.
38. Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable.
39. Calling a friend the next time you feel like you are about to lose it with the kids.
40. Giving a gentle touch to show approval, rather than saying something.
41. Dancing in the kitchen.
42. To get your kids to bop to the music with you in the car.
43. Showing your kids that you can do a somersault or handstand or a cartwheel.
44. Keeping the sigh to yourself. Just jump in and help clean up.
45. Using a kind voice, even if you have to fake it.

Read:
46. A book of silly poems.
47. A book and then act it out. (Like “I’m going on a Bear Hunt”)
48. Your favorite childhood book to them.
49. When the afternoon is starting to go astray.
50. Outside under a tree.
51. In the library kids corner.
52. The comic book they love that you’re not so hot on.
53. About age appropriate behavior so you can keep your expectations realistic.

Listen:
54. To your child in the car.
55. To that Lego description, and think how important it is to your child.
56. For that question that indicates your child really needs your input.
57. One second longer than you think you have patience for.
58. For the feelings behind your child’s words.

Ask:
59. Why do you think that happens?
60. What do you think would happen if______?
61. How shall we find out?
62. What are you thinking about?
63. What was your favorite part of the day?
64. What do you think this tastes like?

Show:
65. Your child how to do something instead of banning them from it.
66. How to whistle with a blade of grass.
67. How to shuffle cards- make a bridge if you can!
68. How to cut food.
69. How to fold laundry.
70. How to look up information when you don’t know the answer.
71. Affection to your spouse.
72. That taking care of yourself is important.

Take Time:
73. To watch construction sites.
74. To look at the birds.
75. To allow your child to help you dump ingredients in the bowl.
76. To walk places together.
77. To dig in the dirt together.
78. To do a task at your child’s pace.
79. To just sit with you child while they play.

Trust:
80. That your child is capable.
81. That you are the right parent for your child.
82. That you are enough.
83. That you can do what is right for your family.

Delight your child:
84. Clean your child’s room as a surprise.
85. Put chocolate chips in the pancakes.
86. Put a love note in their lunch.
87. Make their snack into a smile face shape.
88. Make sounds effects while you help them do something.
89. Sit on the floor with them to play.

Let Go:
90. Of the guilt.
91. Of how you thought it was going to be.
92. Of your need to be right.

Give:
93. A kind look.
94. A smile when your child walks into the room.
95. A kind touch back when your child touches you.
96. The chance to connect before you correct so that your child can actually hear your words.
97. Your child a chance to work out their frustrations before helping them.
98. A bath when the day feels long.
99. A hug.
100. You get to choose the next one! What is your favorite way to be kind to your child?

~ CreativeKids.com, quoted by A Handmaidens' Journey, Female Life from Birth to Ancestor

Source: http://creativewithkids.com/100-ways-to-be-kind-to-your-child/

Photo: "Supported" by Erika Hasting from the Mud Spice blog

♥ Katharine, Journey Of Young Women:
Coming of Age for Girls in Minneapolis, MN

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES

PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life. Reblog this!

  
It seems that alot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a
situation. Everyone should read this especially each n every girl in this world. THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG…

FYI - Through a rapist’s eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

———————————————————————————————————————————-

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:


1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
 
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would 
not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using
much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel
little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” After reading forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.


1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or
purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
 
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you! u are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
 
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
  
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.


If u have a heart or compassion reblog this post.
‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.
 
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW
ATLEAST PEOPLES WILL KNOW WATS GOIN IN THIS WORLD.
 
So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
I hope you all will Reblog. Lets See how many of you really care for this.
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT NOT REBLOGGING THIS! IT COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.
My grandma was tied up by Ted Bundy (She got away) so please please be aware.
(Source: itssofluffy-im-gonna-die)

Food Coloring

Below you'll find information on food coloring that is commonly used and some ways to make your own (see below).

The following colors are used in food.

Blue 1 or also known under the name Brilliant Blue – you can find it in snacks, sauces, candies and soft drinks. It can cause Cancer, ADHD, Rhinitis and Asthma

Green 3 or Fast Green is found in sauces, icings, baked goods, gelatins and also in vegetables. It has been linked to bladder cancer and Allergies.

Orange B found in sausages and Hot dogs. Can be the cause of Allergies, ADHD and also Kidney Damage..

Red 3 or Erythrosine found in popsicles, candies and baked goods. Has been connected with Chromosomal damage and Thyroid Tumors.

Red 40 or Allura Red AC. Used in common snack foods such as Goldfish. Can additional be found in sauces, candies and soft drinks. This color has been connected with ADHD, Cancer, Asthma, Rhinitis
Yellow 5 or Tartrazine – found in candies, jams, cake mixes, cereals, snacks, instant noodles. It has been connected with ADHD, blurred Vision, Anxiety, Migraines and Asthmatic Attacks. (You should think twice, when you buy your kids favorite breakfast cereal which contains this dye.)

Yellow 6 or Sunset Yellow - found in sausages, gelatins and baked goods – this dye can be the cause of Adrenal Gland and Kidney Tumors.

HOMEMADE FOOD COLORING!

Mellow Yellow

Boil 2 cups of water in a pot on your stove. When a full boil is reached you can take the pot from the burner and let the water cool for about 30-60 seconds.
Now add a small amount of turmeric to the water. Once you have obtained the shade of yellow you want you can quit adding this herbal coloring agent. If you will use stale, outdated turmeric instead of a fresher version you can get the natural color without the strong herbal flavoring.
After the colored water has cooled it can be stored in a glass container with a tight fitting lid.


Great Green Color from Spinach
Add 2 cups of spinach leaves to a pot and add enough cold water to cover the leaves.
Boil for 60 seconds.
Allow pot to simmer on the lowest heat setting of your stove for an additional 10 minutes.
Let the water cool and then strain it through cheesecloth or a wire mesh strainer.
You can safely store the green food color in any glass container that has a tight fitting lid.


The Royal Color of Ruby Red
Add a few beets to a pan. Add enough water to cover the beets. You do not have to wash or peel the beets before using them for this recipe.
Now simmer the beets for about 45 minutes, or until they are tender enough that you can pierce the beets with a fork.
Allow the pan to cool. Remove the beets and use a paring knife to peel them. Slice or chop the beets and then add these vegetables back to the pan containing the boiled water.
Let the pan sit undisturbed for several hours so the water can absorb the deep, ruby coloring from the beets.
Pour the liquid through a piece of clean cheesecloth or a fine, mesh strainer. You should have about 1-1/2 cups of water. Combine the colored water with 2 ¼ teaspoons of a natural white vinegar. Add this mixture to a glass container with a tight fitting lid. Shake well, label the container and store until needed.



Berry Blue Food Color

Add 1-2 cups of water and 1 cup of blueberries to a pot. Fresh or frozen berries can be used.
Allow the berries to simmer on the stove for 20-40 minutes.
After the liquid has cooled for about 15 minutes you can pour it into a blender and pulverize the mixture for 1 minute.
Once this process is completed use cheesecloth or a fine mesh strainer to separate the berry particles from the liquid.
Once straining has been completed this natural blue food coloring liquid can be safely kept in a glass container. Always make sure the lid to the container is one that forms a tight seal.


Tips to Help You Create the Best Natural Food Colors
Do not store any of your liquids in plastic containers because the containers will become stained, and chemicals from the plastic will be leached into the food color.
Don't be afraid to experiment with different herbs and plants to come up with other colors.
The shades of these natural food colors can be intensified or lightened depending on how much of the main ingredients you decide to use.


Here are some more suggestions – which fruits and vegetables you can use to make your own handmade food coloring – it is easy and fun – just juice them or boil them.

Brown: coca or coffee powder

Green: kale, parsley, spinach, romaine, cucumber, bell pepper, watercress.... Boiled green veggies, using the water/juice will give you a much lighter green color

Pink or Red (depending how much of the fruits of vegetables you use): beets, berries, cranberries, tomatoes, rhubarb, strawberries, pomegranate, - mostly you use the juice of it – however, sometimes it makes sense you use the whole fruit (for cakes, etc)

Purple and Blue (depending how much of the fruits of vegetables you use): cabbage (can be juiced or boiled), blueberries, skin of the eggplant, blackberried, grapes (black or purple ones)

Yellow/Orange: curry and/or turmeric powder, or yellow beets, carrots,

via - Deanna Ford Kearns

Source: http://www.corn-gluten-foodallergies.com/Homemade-Food-Coloring.html