Rose Garden

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO4wcNVbYOQ

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
When you take, you gotta give, so live and let live,
Or let go.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.

I could promise you things like big diamond rings,
But you don't find roses growin' on stalks of clover.
So you better think it over.
Well, if sweet-talkin' you could make it come true,
I would give you the world right now on a silver platter,
But what would it matter?
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.

I could sing you a tune or promise you the moon,
But if that's what it takes to hold you,
I'd just as soon let you go, but there's one thing I want you to know.
You better look before you leap, still waters run deep,
And there won't always be someone there to pull you out,
And you know what I'm talkin' about.
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.

via http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/anderson-lynn/rose-garden-279.html

Dear John

I was quite freaked out the other night when you said, "I can't go by my real name because girls from my past will try to contact me." You mentioned it would be a bad scene. Weird. This is something I'd have liked to have known: "is not friends with people he's had relationships with in the past." What a great question - I will ask it next time.

John, if I had nothing to do, hanging out with you in 'your world' - meaning: on your schedule, doing what you like to do, and how you like to do it ~ would be absolute perfection ~ bliss incarnate. But, I have this other life going on - my own. In 'your world', you are generous and giving, but you don't seem to be comfortable any where else. And I am - comfortable anywhere & everywhere.

I did not mean to mislead you - or hurt you - I thought that you were just mistreated & sad (silent tears streaming down your face in the dark). I thought that if I loved you & showed you how much I love you, that you would love yourself & me & it would all fit together.
But it didn't. I started to be tired from the normal wear of such a long drive (which you shared none of) - and then I started to be tired from not being able to relax, while having to add even more driving & packing & packing & packing - oh yeah - then unpacking & repacking... then more driving....
That, in itself, is enough to drive one to 'drink'. But since I don't drink, I just dealt with it.

There were quite a few times that I was unhappy with how things were going.
And, I tried to talk to you.
You told me - you were good at talking - I didn't/wasn't/didn't' say I was ~ you said you were good at communicating.... You are a great communicator when you are asking the questions, but when I asked them... you deflected & evaded. So I quit asking - didn't ask - wouldn't ask anymore - except some times...
And if I did ask? If I tried to explain what I wanted or how my needs differed from what was going on - it ended in me crying - too tired to be able to explain - too easily fuddle. You telling me: this can't keep happening - look at the way you are acting - this is getting old - you are the most insecure person I've every dated. Which didn't help me feel better or help me to explain any more than when I'd started - it just made be silent. Just because you tell me I shouldn't feel like that, or I'm being irrational doesn't fix it.
I have not been happy for a while and, yes, I tried to tell you, but you don't 'listen' to me - or you are not 'hearing' me - I know this because I am trying to 'convey a thought' & you kept repeating the 'words' - the intent was lost. The weird thing is, I don't have these problems in any other relationship in my life...

And I hate, hate, hate, hate (and I don't use that word lightly) how I second guess myself now.... I know how to live, how God wants me to live, what society expects from me... And I enjoy being part of life... I do not need to be told about: cussing; being loud; or appropriate music - I do not need nor want to be shushed!!! I am sick to death of defending the way I feel. It isn't right and it isn't wrong ~ it just is.

I am Jane! Hear me Roar!!!
I am not afraid of being alone or being an 'old maid'. I AM afraid of not living my life - I AM afraid of not listening to & for the knock of opportunity. There is NOT a can't in my vocabulary. Won't doesn't work for me either.
You have built all kinds of limitations into who you are & I am limitless.
What I'm saying is: "I hope we become friends or stay friend", but I have weighed the thoughts ~ the ones from the heart & the purely analytical & I find that we have come to a crossroads.
I am no longer willing to walk down your path.
You want to go hiking sometime, great, but feel free to bring your girlfriend.
peace, love & light, Dances in the Rain